little things that matter

la-la-la

i should really be packing instead of blogging. blogs and emails are the devil! and i don't even have anything to write about. somehow got out of the trip to guelph today. i didn't even want to go, and dr. d said i should just call, and didn't need to go and see them. dr. s, however, emailed and said that he was surprised that i wasn't going to guelph. i guess it's okay as i emailed him. isn't yet sinking in that i'm going home tomorrow. well, i don't arrive until saturday, but i'll be on my way InshAllah. haven't been back for 2 years...i guess things will be quite a bit different...but the ppl won't be, and that's just how it should be, right? however, it's because of the ppl that i'm worried about being fat and dark. is that bad!? whatev. off now. toodles.

posted by pebblesia @ 4:48 PM 0 comments

i'm in love

with mr. depp. johnny depp, that is. and now i regret not standing among the many waiting to get a glimpse of him at the premiere of The Corpse Bride at the toronto film festival. i guess i started liking him a lot a lot since pirates of the caribbean, and i just like him a lot still. he's been around for so long and has done so many movies over these years, and he only gets better! constant changes about him and all the different types of characters that he does only makes him a better actor every time. looooved him as willy wonka. i bought a larger-than-life poster of him at the piano over a year ago, and sadly don't have anything to do with it right now since i moved and don't have a permanent residence. i think my sister would like the poster, but it's just way to big for me to take to b'desh. why am i writing abt him now? well, i just had a wonderfully steamy dream last night about him...and woke up this morning thinking abt the guy...heehee. i know this celebrity obsession of mine (from david d, to a short-lived chris martin obsession to this) is strange at my age, but who cares? i still love the glitz and glamour of the celebrity life. i know that was a bit random. but anyway, today's a bit of a relaxing day, and tomorrow is my last trip to guelph before leaving...hopefully it'll be the last in 3 months! what should i make for lunch? :/

posted by pebblesia @ 2:26 PM 0 comments

only a couple more days!

somehow i just deleted a complete blog. how freaking annoying! me going to bangladesh!!!! friday's committee meeting finally gave the thumbs up. don't feel like repeating everything. saw the e-baby today...such a sweetheart and smiley baby she is! and a nature lover too...stares at trees for minutes on end :) did a lot of shopping yesterday, even after my mum's express instructions to not spend 'unnecessarily'. probably bought more things than i can afford for dhaka...why is it that even though i get paid more than twice the amount i did during my undergrad years, i still am tight on cash?! ok that's it. too tired to recreate the whole 25-line blog.

posted by pebblesia @ 1:40 AM 0 comments

counting down

so i haven't written for a few days. this past week has been out of this world busy. i've been trying to manage family commitments amidst one of the busiest weeks in the year in terms of work. but somehow i managed. the cutest baby in the world has left canada and gone back to his home in london :( but at least i got to spend as much time with him as i possibly could, and sad as it is that he'll forget me very soon, young as he is, at least it helped make some fun memories for me. saw lots of ppl this week that i haven't seen in months and years...it's good to spend time with family now and then, even if it's distant relatives. i'm looking forward seeing my own in dhaka...please oh please don't let the committee push my departure date back any further! i really want to make most of this time in dhaka in terms of work and family time and everything. possibly even fit in friends there somewhere. i also somehow managed to finish the work and send the stuff in today to my committee that i was supposed to. when i woke up this morning and had yet to re-org the dreaded questionnaire, i half thought of writing to my committee first thing and saying that i couldn't send them all the stuff they asked for today and that it would have to wait. luckily, i was able to re-do it, and was able to send in all requested materials. please don't let dr. d figure out something else to stop me from going! exhausted from lack of sleep for 3/4 days in a row. friday night was out late dancing; saturday night was up late chatting with ze cousins in m'auga; sunday night just up late chatting again with friends; monday night out at the exorcism of emily rose till 1230am, and then up till almost 2, and then not able to sleep cuz of incessant snoring of the ladies i was sharing a room with at my cousin's cousin's. finally tonight i passed out totally, only to wake this morning with what felt like a lead-filled head! anyway, it's all done now...i have to just wait and see what happens, and hope and pray that i can begin counting the days to go back home after 2 years. oh also watched march of the penguins...who knew baby penguins were so fuzzy and adorable?!

posted by pebblesia @ 6:40 PM 0 comments

the chaotic lifestyle

it isn't suiting me anymore. a day or two of commuting the guelph-toronto route and living in the mess that is my room right now is taking it's toll. and the fact that yesterday's committee meeting means i have a crap load of things to figure out in a week isn't helping at all. in the last hour, i've successfully done an outline of what i need to write up over the next week (what i'm supposed to hand in isn't really a chapter, but an outline itself) and it's not looking good. i'm keeping my fingers crossed to be able to produce something respectable that will allow me to be on my way. this process, however, has already started me on a learning streak that i haven't come across in the last year here. coursework learning just isn't the same as pushing yourself through designing something like a survey, thinking about sampling, thinking about how to develop a relationship with the people so they will be responsive. i guess there is something to this masters after all. still doesn't mean i'll go and do a phd...this thesis might just be the end of the road for me as far as higher ed. and needless to say, i'm looking forward to the end of the road. going to try and get back to work...

posted by pebblesia @ 2:40 PM 0 comments

um, uh, yeah that's what i meant

my response to a lot of questions asked at this dreaded committee meeting. well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it was strange how, after months and months, 2 of my committee members don't seem to remember what my thesis topic is! i was so dumbfounded, i couldn't say anything. day didn't start too good...tripped on the stairs on the way to grad program services, in front of a 150 frosh at the university centre. did some stuff that needed to get done...and fretted and fretted until the committee meeting which took an hour and a half...longest ever! now i have an agenda to fulfil over the next week worth about 2 weeks of work, otherwise i don't get to go to dhaka. which would definitely suck. my friend's expecting me to stay in guelph tonight, but i'm exhausted and need a bed i'm used to to sleep on. didn't sleep very well at her place last time i was here cuz it was a new place...and can't afford to waste anytime tomorrow as have plans to go out. she's german, and needs to plan everything....so she's not going to be happy when she comes out of class and i tell her i'm going back to toronto, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. have the worst headache in the world.

posted by pebblesia @ 8:11 PM 0 comments

common sense

or lack thereof...and i'm talking about myself once again. apparently, i have none of the above mentioned. i poured boiling hot water over my hand yesterday, substituted corn starch for corn flour in a recipe (flour's a starch, right? why didn't it work?), used the wrong attachment for the vacuum cleaner to do the wooden floors...just used what was on the vacuum, didn't want to change it (was right embarrassed by the incident...but when i get embarrassed, i get defensive...not a pretty sight), didn't realise that the stuff in the dishwasher was dirty (thankfully didn't put them away having thought they were clean)...what else can i say? i think doing this masters and spending time on stupid questionnaires and journal articles has dumbed me down to the extent that i've forgotten how to do real life things. and i don't even work all that much! need to go on a shopping trip...a couple of things i need to buy for my family members back home before i leave...also want to buy some stuff for myself, too...just don't know what yet...new pair of dress pants maybe (remember i threw one away very recently) and also a couple of new shirts, etc...also want a new winter coat, even though i'm only in canada half of this winter. the worse half, mind you, as january-february just suck the life outta you. getting sick of all the spam comments...how come any of the 'real' people who read this don't leave comments?! time for some lunch...if i can make something without ruining everything... is it a coincidence that when you google (images) 'stupid' george bush comes up?!

posted by pebblesia @ 4:49 PM 0 comments

homemaker activities

so i cooked this yummy beef and potato curry the other day, and just now finished off the left overs for lunch. also vacuumed the living room etc (since i'm living here might as well help out with some of the chores i figured, even though i'm never asked to do anything), ran the dishwasher (phew, how difficult that was ;)), tidied up some stuff and re-orged my room a little. amazing how much time these little things can take up, and amazing how you want to do all these things when you're really supposed to be working. i did do a little bit of work today trying to focus on a little verbal presentation that i have to make for my committee on thursday. basically it needs to be somewhat of a sales pitch to convince my committee that i'm ready to leave for dhaka, that i've got all my arsenal and that they can trust me to complete the task at hand once i'm in b'desh. whether they can actually do that is another issue of course, as i can totally see myself immersed in dinner invitations, catching up with friends and family, and just in general hanging out at whatever's new and happening in ze city right now. no...no...that's not true...i'll have to work...as i'll have to get my degree, right? i'm in half a mind to just drop everything and run away...a year in the masters program isn't all that much, is it? is it really too late to drop now that i've completed all my coursework and only really have my thesis to complete for my degree?? my advisors are being an incessant pain in the butt. i mean, constructive criticism is fine, but hardly ever do i hear anything encouraging. i got an email today with an obligatory 'you're doing fine; keep it up', which meant nothing, NOTHING to me. maybe that's the problem. maybe, everytime they try to say something positive, i somehow end up negating it...or it just seems pretentious to me like this little nothing email. why do i do that?! i know i'm going to spend the next 48+ hours just fretting about this meeting...couple of meetings to attend at uni thursday actually...and will only be able to relax once thursday's done and over with. can only resort to counting days to go to bangladesh only to avoid my advisors, even though i love the wonderful, albeit expensive toronto life. will i ever finish my 'further studies'? :

posted by pebblesia @ 5:47 PM 0 comments

chic chick

hanging out with the stars, that's what i'm doing ;) went to the new guy ritchie movie yesterday called revolver...saw him with wifey madonna and ray liotta from a distance inside the theatre...madonna's unmistakable even from so far away (could have actually seen them on the red carpet if we weren't in the rush line once again)...she looked stunning. the movie was confusing, to say the least...came out of it with a mixed feeling...typical of guy ritchie movies, i guess, even though i love snatch. didn't know at the end of it all whether the main character was dead or alive! jason statham, the main guy (also in snatch) did a really wonderful job as jake green, and ray liotta was good, too. can't quite describe what the movie's about - gangsters, loan sharking, gambling are some words i can throw out i guess. and i even put on a dress this time, just to be one of the crowd...so what if we were in the public line without tickets again? :D email from advisor today got me worried, but i did what he asked for and sent a reply. getting paranoid about an advisory committee meeting on thursday. just hoping against hope that they don't stop me from going as i already have my ticket and can't change it. johnny depp's in town, too...my current fave actor i guess...but didn't get a chance to see him. somehow crazily hoping that i'll run into him...haha. now that won't happen cuz i'm not going anywhere, and he might already have left as the corpse bride's premiere and the press conference are both done. there are so many stars in toronto now....kiera knightly, eva longoria, kirsten dunst, viggo mortensen, orlando blook, steve martin, only to name a few. the galas are big deals, it seems, and it's great to even glimpse some of these famous people. my friends are calling me a celebrity junkie....

posted by pebblesia @ 4:40 PM 0 comments

of babies and movies

my cousin's baby is the cutest baby in the world. an almost-2-year old, green-eyed brit-babbling little daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarling! and he acted like he hadn't seen me forever and i'd only just met him! such an unbelievably sociable baby master uc (cute pet name, eh?) is :o) glad i got to spend time with him before they left for alberta. no clue what he says half the time except for the incessant 'what's this' and 'who's this' which both sound exactly the same uttered through little 2-year-old teeth...heehee. me want one of those! ended up standing in the 'rush' line of the opening gala of the toronto international film festival - my first movie going experience at a big-time film festival and it wasn't a disappointment. my friends had been waiting in line for more than 2 hours when i joined them...the 'rush' applies to what goes on once you're allowed to go in and buy tickets. it was actually an indian movie, and it was cool to see the actors/director whom i actually knew! john abraham and lisa ray both looked stunning in black and white respectively (see pic from last night...not taken by self again). relative newcomers to the indian movie scene, but they did a really good job in the movie (called water) itself. i was surprised at how dressed up people were going to see this thing at the roy thompson hall...sooooooo many women is dresses and shawls and high heeled shoes...men in ties and jackets...i was in my all-day garb, and felt rather under-dressed. but we didn't have tickets anyway, and were standing in the public line to be let in once everyone with tickets had gone in and there was space. even then, i couldn't get over what a big deal these film festival galas are, and how upscale most of the festival going crowd is! i enjoyed it a lot, and i think i'm going to go see a few more. we have tickets for another gala (they are kinda pricey, which is annoying), but it's not the opening night anymore of course, and it's probably going to be a bit silly of a film...dunno whether to dress up for it or not. the movie itself was pretty serious - about widows in india in 1938 and how they were treated very badly. the director was driven out of india because the movie was so controversial (from a religious point of view) and the movie actually took 5 years to produce. i liked it...it succeeded in bringing about many emotions, and for me that's a mark of a good movie. the camera work was awesome. one of my brown, but non-hindi-speaking and non-hindi-movie-watching friends thought the story was very linear, and it was in the sense that not a lot was happening, but it was more a story-telling of what how hindu scriptures treated widows in the old times. finally got my ticket to bangladesh....will be on my way at the end of this month. really can't wait. it's been way too long! need to eat something....

posted by pebblesia @ 5:31 PM 0 comments

arranged or otherwise?

so i get on the bus yesterday to come to guelph for my meetings and a friend's thesis defence, and it smells totally disgusting and damp. but i get used to it in about 20 minutes...even though at the beginning i thought i'd have to hold my breath for the entire hour and fifteen. good thing i fell asleep, but like everything else in life, one gets used to things. i don't know how good that is when you're 'used to' a relationship...that's when you're taking someone for granted and that's never nice. have to leave that discussion for some other time. Ms. CS's defence went quite smoothly even though some of the questions that the profs asked were tricky. she handled it rather well, even though sometimes with very risque humour...which she later regretted and she thought it made her seem like she didn't take the defence seriously. what's funnier even is that i was dead tired after her defence, and i hadn't done anything at all during the day except travel to guelph! it was sympathy tiredness i call it, as she was exhausted after it was all done and she'd passed. my cousins are coming from london today and i'm waaaaay excited to see them. especially cuz an almost-two-year old is in the mix who i haven't met yet. and he's a little dream of a boy :o) what else? work's taken an unbelievable backseat, but i'm going to bangladesh regardless, now that i'm paying for my ticket upfront, to be reimbursed. but i really need to get the questionnaire and stuff re-done. reading a book from CS called 'for matrimonial purposes' - all about arranged marriages and about how a 34-year-old indian woman is bringing 'disgrace' upon her family because she's not getting any suitable proposals. CS, mind you, is a very white, very german girl, and it's a surprise that she even owns this book. but she says she bought it because of me talking about arranged marriages all the time, and how my parents are poised this time round to show me 'suitable boys'. i'm afraid i might end up like the Anju character in the book....unmarried at 34, and probably past that! another one of those perpetual worries. ten years is a long time, though...god only know what'll happen within those years! time for me to say buhbye right now, but will be back soon!

posted by pebblesia @ 1:26 PM 1 comments

semantics etc

why does the word 'aboriginal' refer to people who were the first to be in a country? isn't the prefix 'ab-' usually used to negate the word that succeeds it? like abnormal? than why aren't aboriginal people just referred to as the original people? i think it's an odd prefix to add... i've basically been coming across the word aboriginal constantly while testing my partner(i don't like using the term boyfriend anymore...) for his canadian citizenship test. it's all over the 'a look at canada' book u're supposed to study for the test. he just wrote the multiple choice test this morning...just heard from him saying that he thought it was easy, but they didn't tell him if he passed. anyway, so this book is fascinating. i don't think a lot of the things in it are known by canadian citizens born in the country. Such as the fact that New Brunswick (not Quebec) is the only officially bilingual province, and the Chinese helped build the Canadian Pacific Railway. but at least because of this i finally know all the capitals of canadian provinces and territories! i've been living in the country for 5 years, and i never actually thought of looking up all the capitals...a little sad huh? especially after bragging about how i should have been a geography student...a geography student would have known the capitals way more than 4 years ago in my position! also the fact that ontario's total population is possibly less than that of dhaka city, and you can fit in about 7 bangladesh's in ontario just boggles the mind... need to work need to work need to work...

posted by pebblesia @ 2:14 PM 0 comments