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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

beginning anew

was in ottawa sunday/monday for the darned transit visa. it was really a matter of an hour, and i didn't even get to see a visa officer! the receptionist took my documents, asked me to wait, and handed back my passport with the british direct airside transit visa, and that was it. basically, i waited for 25 minutes after i was let in, and then another 20 minutes after she took my docs, which took about 5 minutes. made me wonder why i spent so much money going to ottawa and staying overnight at a hotel only to come back. it was a nice visit to ottawa though...saw a light and sound show at parliament hill...it was really close to my hotel, and even though i didn't know about it, the little walk around downtown paid off as i ran into the show. i haven't walked around parliament hill before...just driven by it the last time i was in ottawa with the family...so this was different. the light and sound show reminded me of the one at the victoria memorial in kolkata, india, which was really cool at the time...but this was even grander. so i liked ottawa, but there were too many 'goth' folks walking around, and 'lounging' in the streets for my liking! admittedly, i was a bit weary of them. either way, i was considering whether i'd be able to live in ottawa. i mean, i love toronto, and i think i'd like to live here for some time with a job etc, but a lot of the jobs that are lucrative in my area are in ottawa. didn't seem like a bad place...after all it's the capital! now i'm back to my base in toronto, and urgently have to figure out what to do with my stuff. so much stuff! and also have to begin working....that's not gonna happen today though. as i've mentioned several times, i hate moving...and having to move more than once a year can get on your nerves. i just moved to a new place in may, but i didn't like it, and also am going away for a few months so had to move all my stuff somewhere else. packing's a pain in the butt, as is unpacking eventually! i think my parents are getting a bit paranoid about the fact that they don't really always know where i am for this month. especially my darling father. which isn't nice for me, because it frustrates me a little. i mean, they're soooooooooooo far away...and i have a life here...i don't know why, after so many years away, they expect me to constantly inform them about my whereabouts, what i'm doing, who i'm seeing, etc. i'm not 16! (my sister is though....hehe). at the same time, i don't blame my parents, and i know why they're worried sometimes....but chill, will ya? ok, off to do the household chores!

Friday, August 26, 2005

a turning point

1. i'm done my little proposal presentation...it went fairly well...my public speaking skills are improving, slowly but surely...yet to get even remotely close to my dad's charismatic style of presentation. surprising # of ppl showed up and i got lots of feedback. which essentially is more work, but i'm done with this chapter at least, and it was a lot of good help. 2. am moving from this basement tomorrow - will not have a permanent place to stay over the next month or so. 3. i changed the title of the blog to reflect the URL - this is more potter-geeky, but i think it's better than the old one. (any suggestions are welcome....i think i'll be changing the title now and then) 4. my friend told me that the dress pants i wore today didn't really flatter me. the lesson really is that you shouldn't wear trousers that fit you perfectly 6-8 years ago anymore. i mean, honestly, there's a difference between a 16/17 year old's figure and a 24 year old's. so i'm going to donate these much loved and much worn pair of pants finally. 5. should i or should i not go to banff with my cousins?!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

so when did this happen?

i had to post the pictures...just got them. we were on our way to bancroft friday and were stuck in traffic for almost 2 hours, and this was one of the main reason. we were on finch at one point, got frustrated with the traffic, turned around and took little streets...everyone obviously had the same idea. i got soaked in the torrential rains 3 times that day, but didn't have any idea that this is what the rains were causing. anyway...there pictures are pretty amazing....only posting a selection...my friend emailed them to me, his colleague emailed them to him...so no idea who took them...

stand by, here we go again

more dr. d talk. i actually call him by his first name by true north american tradition, but i'm going on a no names policy (except on some occasions i guess). anyway, so another meeting today with the two profs...one just doesn't know when to stop talking cuz he's not making a point at all. the other one just likes berating me...where does so much criticism come from? it wasn't a feel-good meeting like yesterday's, but it wasn't a bad meeting either...got some helpful tips abt my presentation tomorrow (i.e. this is shit, change it from top to bottom...not in so many words, but in essence), and also got a lead on a questionnaire someone else has done cuz mine's not good enough yet. dr. s, my co-advisor, though, thinks it's a really good attempt, and i'm happy that he's happy. i was half expecting not to get paid today, which would suck. but i got a full paycheque, even though it might be the last one for a while now as the next lot goes to tuition completely. trying to reduce tuition by applying for 'full-time distant status' since i'll be away, but dunno if they'll accept the application since i'm getting paid as a research assistant (RA) even while i'm away. let's see what happens. ok gotta get my ass into getting this ppt done. need to make my bed first.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

odds and (split) ends

'heat through' on the soup can does not mean burn! it's not the first time i've burnt soup...i have a perfectly justified reason...i hardly, if ever, eat canned soup (i'm not a soup person...soup or salad choice, i pick salad...my jaan picks soup...indication of how opposite we really are to each other, obviously). so when i do by chance put on soup on the stove...and this is not one where u have to add anything, i tend to forget that i put anything on the stove until i smell stuff burning. i came into my room and got involved in a little map assignment that my cousin in london gave me (luv 'em maps...i really should have been a geography student) and then i smell the tell-tale clam chowder burning smell (it really is only a generic i'm-stuck-to-the-pot-save-me kinda burning smell). i saved it, and had lunch in the nick of time. whatever was left of it anyway. i haven't had a haircut since may...which is over three months ago. strange little aside: since i cut my hair short on october 8th, 2004, i've been getting haricuts every two months or so and every time on the 8th of the month...not always intentional, but sometimes, yes. anyway, so i haven't cut my hair in 3 months, and it's kinda lost it's shape. the current dilemma is whether to cut it before i leave for canada or not...wedding coming up in january, need long (ish) hair to wear sari...hair not growing gracefully...what do i do? still wondering.... finally i hear something good from my advisors...impromptu pre-meeting today (have another meeting abt friday's presentation with them tomorrow) and they said (or at least one of them did, i think) that i've made tremendous (not my word, theirs) progress in the last 2 weeks. amidst all the complaining, i actually had something to show for it! makes one feel rather good...but can't get complacent. is it odd that i have to make my bed before i get down to doing any work?

weighty issues

i guess i'm getting slightly lazy with this web log. or it's just cuz i'm really busy trying to get real work done for my thesis. the questionnaire is still cooking...i worked on it for a few minutes today (maybe a half hour), but didn't achieve a whole lot. yesterday was more productive. i find that if i spend time getting ready and going to school, i end up wasting a lot more time than actually producing something. not a good sign. but at least i can work from home. i've gained 5 pounds in the last one and a half months. not a good sign at all. i know what the cause is - i've been in too many places where i can use the excuse of eating chips and junk food...i think i've had more burgers (staple cottage/camping food, of course) this summer than in my entire life put together. also, the fact that i don't like spending too much time in the kitchen in this house (i love to cook, but the kitchen has to be to my liking) means that i've been making quick, mostly unhealthy, fixes for meals while i am in guelph. mainly, pasta - so bad for you in large quantities! maybe i should move to whole wheat pasta like i moved to multigrain bread... so much for being nice and lean for my dhaka trip. and i always, always gain weight when i'm in dhaka. i'm pretty sure this trip isn't going to be any different even though the purpose is serious work. really have to watch my rice intake. don't want to come back with another 15 on top of what's already there. and i've got an unwanted tan. all the time in the sun (unavoidable when u're sitting out on docks by the water for hours at a time) hasn't helped my already wonderfully brown skin colour. another thing to talk about in dhaka - 'oh how dark she's become!' oh whatever. i'm gonna go back to my john grisham for now (the first john grisham that i'm going to finish i think...eire, if u don't read him much i think u should). time to call it a night. moving this weekend...packing's such a pain...

Friday, August 19, 2005

i smell

noooo, i don't smell bad...i can't ever afford to smell bad...cuz smelly people and bad smells are a major pet peeve. i smell nice :) but as i was getting ready this morning, i was wondering whether the smell of the new stuff i put in my hair clashes with my perfume, and whether either of those things clash with my yummy-smelling moringa (some seed or fruit or something) hand butter (ooooohhhh this hand butter is delectable...i really could probably eat it, and it's oh-so-buttery!). each of those things individually smell awesome, but i wonder what i smell like to someone i'm passing...of gel? of my givenchy irresistible? the lovely hand butter? good thing my body lotion is fragrance-free! buses smell nasty...i just rode home in a bus that smelt weird - like a disgusting combination of dampness, b.o., and dirt. it's hard to describe, but most of the guelph buses smell...like people who haven't bathed for a while. i gladly hold my breath most of the three-minute bus-ride when it gets really bad. tim hortons smells goooooood....i'm not a coffee drinker, but the fresh baking smell along with the coffee is good...in fact, i just made a trip there on a whim to get cookies and an iced-cappuccino...so the yummy smell is fresh in my memory :) timmy's makes the best iced-cap! so i went a little bit overboard with the advertising, whatev.

the weekend begins

i was made aware from one of my eager readers (yeah right!) that 'cottaging' is a weird sexual term...trust me y'all, it's weird...and that he thought it was funny that i was using it in such a mundane sense as to imply 'i'm going to a cottage'. i apologize if i've offended anyone else who knew of the origins of the nastiness behind this term... i'm still deciding whether to go to the cottage this weekend at bancroft. after a rather disturbing day yesterday (long story about how i overheard a not-so-nice conversation about moi), i'm having a bit of an anxiety issue about meeting with dr. bjd today...wonder what my wonderful advisor (so not fond of him right now) will have to say this time round. i set up the meeting, really, and i should talk about my progress etc...my questionnaire's at least in the formation stages...but who knew finding the right questions to ask would be so hard? i don't know why i'm expected to do this on my own, and why my advisors don't seem to want to help me with formulating the questions. do i look like i'm a survey expert? :o going to take my questionnaire with me to work on...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

the bane of my (current) existence

what is it, you wonder? JOURNAL ARTICLES! god i hate them so much. i know i've mentioned my dislike of them before, but today's been the journal article day - i've been reading them nonstop (discount the 2 hour nap in between when harold demsetz failed to make me keep my eyes open) and i'm just sick of them. what sucks more is that these are articles i've already read - i'm going through them again to make a start on my literature review. i think by the time i finish my thesis, i would have had to memorize these 3 or 4 articles. god help me! so where have i been? out cottaging! yeah, so i decided to take up that invite. next decision is whether to take up another this weekend....surprising how busy (and fun) this summer has been, when you totally cut school out of the picture. i've only been camping once, and this is the third time i'll be going to a cottage if i do....i guess it's been an 'upscale' summer of sorts! by far the most active of summers, especially since i've had a course to deal with for the first time ever, but also because of all the stuff i've been doing. [aside: i keep pressing ctrl+s as a habit from working on MSWord files....sucks that this blogger immediately publishes the incomplete log!] today was supposed to be super productive, and tomorrow's supposed to be the same. today went okay, not as well as i'd hoped. let's hope tomorrow's work fare's better...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

12-hour days and other myths

well, it's not really a myth, but it's a myth in my life. i don't think i've actually spent 12 hours working in any one day over the last god-knows-how-many-years. however, having slacked off enough this summer, i started working on a paper 2 days that was given at the beginning of the semester (late may...feels like forever ago). didn't accomplish much other than looking up papers etc on tuesday, but yesterday i spent over 12/13 hours just working on the paper. took a shower, lunch and dinner (+ CSI bonus) break. i don't think i've had this productive a day all summer! my productiveness description for this semester has been the completion of one to two-page proposals, or one to two pages of a 5 or 7 page proposal. anyway, enough detail about that stuff. in short, i've finished the paper basically with only an additional hour today...just a few minor things to write and then to edit. oh the wonders of the beautiful (but fried) mind! now contemplating what to do this weekend....shit loads of work to do, as my previous posts can vouch to, but god it's the weekend! spare me a saturday and sunday! (stop whining, you say? why, cuz i've spent every weekend in the summer not working? is that a crime? tell me, is it?) little devil in my head says to go attend another cottage invite...

Monday, August 08, 2005

it is? is it really? no it can't be!

noooooooooooooooo......!!!!!!#!$!#$#$%#^$&^$^ it's only f-ing MONDAY!!! i can't believe that it's the first day of the week. it honestly feels like the end of the week...at least let it be thursday if not friday! i don't know what it is, i woke up exhausted this morning, was pissed off at the exam i had to write, and ended up seething when the FRIGGIN' library wanted 2 pieces of photo ID for me to borrow a laptop, when my student ID was enough just 2 weeks ago. it's just nuts. my friend susan defended her thesis today; a defence i couldn't attend because of my dumb exam....which i probably failed anyway. well, i hung around and did a little bit of work before meeting her for the defence get-together in the grad lounge, and now i'm just still exhausted and annoyed. on top of that, i come back home, and smell something burning...what is it u ask? one of my stupidass (!) housemates left MY pot on the stove god only knows for how long....there must have been water in it or something which evaporated to leave lime behind, and my pot is ruined. f-ing don't use my stuff if u're gonna ruin it damn it....GET YOUR f-ing OWN! i'm just tired...if u looked at me now, i don't look mad, but i guess this entry shows a different side of the blank expression on my face that i know i'll find staring back at me if i looked in the mirror. i have to do 25-page cost-benefit paper for friday... :'(

Friday, August 05, 2005

back to school it is

my advisor seemed a tad disappointed in me this afternoon when i popped by to see him. he thought I seemed depressed...and i am a bit, as far as work is concerned. the thing is, i think we're misunderstanding each other slightly. or the truth is that i'm hiding the truth from him. he doesn't know how unmotivated i've been this summer, and that's why the lack of progress. the fact that i have absolutely no clue what to do about my research methods has something to do with the lack of progress since if i haven't been making an effort to try and learn what to do. i don't blame him for ever so slightly losing faith in me...i really wish i could make myself work more, but i just am enjoying the summer too much...work and fun have become mutually exclusive in my life right now. only if dr. d knew the truth! i saw something really disturbing on tv yesterday. something on discovery was showing an elephant giving birth. the poor mum was in so much pain, and didn't seem to know what to do. eventually when the baby elephant came (thank god i don't ever have to deliver a baby elephant!), it was a sight to see...not a pretty sight, mind you...and it was amusing to watch the instant maternal instincts that came out of the elephant that just moments ago was sadly tearful from the pain and didn't have any idea even what position to be in. as miraculous as that natural instinct was to watch, i was slightly traumatized for hours after watching the show... i have a zit in my ear...of all the places in the world!!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

something +

so i didn't actually say the whole story about the concert. now that i'm beyond the point of gushing maybe i can talk about some of the other things... we were all at casey's when we heard the news of the plane crash...and were stunned and fascinated by the 4 minutes of footage that was played over and over for more than an hour. it's very very surprising how everyone got away unscathed. i just saw the plane stuck in the ravine, emergency service trucks and policemen still everywhere. kind of a chilling feeling to think about how the passengers felt during the accident. back to the concert...i usually don't like how singers switch up tunes when they're singing from what you listen to on the radio/cd. maybe it's only cuz i've seen these switcharoos (not really my word, but don't know where i picked it up from) on tv, and not actually been there to witness it. coldplay is famous for theirs, and chris martin's exceptional at it. he's really witty as well, and though i don't find him good looking, i still think he's quite the charmer ;) the whole thing about being in an arena with 16,000 people, and then walking out of there with everyone was a bit overwhelming. and it was totally and completely civilized, no pushing and shoving, no cursing...just very very nice and polite...very canadian, i should say! it could also be because coldplay's not a nasty kind of rock band and that they're more mellow. i tried oysters for the first time last night! i was a bit weary of the way they look so scary, but it was quite delectable i must say. we went to a restaurant after the concert to get something to eat...i was convinced by a friend to try them, and i don't regret it. the horseradish side had quite the kick to get me slightly teary-eyed, but other than that it was good. and then had a really really yummy napoleon for dessert...never heard of those before either....it's like a custard cake with bananas and strawberries... i think i'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

a little something something

what a great week! i've just had an awesome time these past few days, and it all reached a pinnacle last night. weekend was spent camping in northern ontario...a lot of driving around, and a lot of sitting by the campfire with my 'buddies' and chatting, a lot of bbqing and eating breakfast out...as inactive as that sounds, it was really fun. the last day of camping, we went to the beach after dark and it was almost like the silence was deafening. the silhouette of trees against the dark sky, the stillness of the water in which reflected shadows of the sky and the woods...kind of indescribably beautiful. so we come back from camping and it's time for the coldplay concert tuesday night. to be held at the air canada centre, with some loser opening band starting at 730pm. so a bunch of us (8 to be exact) waited around at a casey's closeby, and eventually went in to the acc around 8ish, when the band was still playing, with their strange stretchy pants (!) and long shaggy (from scooby doo) hair. anyway, so coldplay comes on with a bang a little after 9, starting off with the first song in X&Y, square one. and the rest is history! it was a really well done concert...lighting and techy stuff were off the hook...you couldn't help but be mesmerized by the technology that accompanied each song. we had decent seats, but we really didn't need to see them because it was the music that mattered...and the music was big. the bits where they showed the band (sometimes the members separately, but all on one screen...which had a really cool effect) on the big screens, it was almost like you were watching tv, but it was happening right in front of you...was a slightly weird feeling... chris martin's amazing...his ad-libbing in the songs, even his apologies abt the celine dion comment and the little goof up were unbelievably charming and made him more endearing. i've already written about how refreshing and cool i find his voice...but meh what the hell...i think he does a fabulous job singing...especially loved the fact that he ended with 'fix you' my favourite of the x&y album. all in all, it was a superb concert experience and the great company helped :o) i'm almost tempted to run to montreal and catch tonight's show...